Defensiveness is natural but being non-defensive is wise

Many people get defensive OFTEN. Righteous indignation, playing the victim, and whining can be heaps of fun; the problem is they don’t work! No one likes feeling under attack from judgement, criticism or blame. Yet, defensiveness gives rise to more defensiveness. We need to find a way out. The key lies in our response-ability. Watch this short video to find out more.

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How to stop being a people-pleaser (but stay loving)

Are you a people-pleaser? What is the difference between caring about others and having empathy, and being a people-pleaser? How do you tell the difference? In this short video, Dr Rachel explains the distinction.

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Healing with humour: Interview with Fiona McGary

Rachel: As a comedian, why are you interested in humour and mental health?
Fiona: I got sick in 2014. I was in bed for 4 months, my business was failing, my relationship was failing, life was bad. I had depression. I was crying in the middle of the night and stuck in bed. I’d had depression years earlier when I remembered my sexual abuse. At that time, I drank and smoked too much to cope. When I had depression in 2014, I never went back to that terrible depression like before, because I sought help. That’s when I started to use humour properly.

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Grief is the Price We Pay for Love

This blog post has been inspired by the lovely comedienne, Jordan Kadell. Six years ago, Jordan’s family suffered a devastating loss when her brother died in a terrible accident while overseas celebrating finishing high-school.

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Overcoming Childhood Tauma: A Three Stage Process

Dark moments from our childhood – divorce, emotional neglect, a parent’s mental illness, witnessing violence or addiction, being abused – can stay with us as adults, even though we ‘feel fine’ most of the time. Research shows that adverse childhood experiences produce toxic levels of stress hormones that can affect the development of the neural networks in a child’s brain. In the past 20 years, researchers have shown that high scores on the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) survey are highly predictive of adult mental, social and physical health problems later in life. The effects of these ACEs may be invisible, but they can weigh upon us decades later.

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Help Me! I’m a Comedian: New show with Rachel on ABC

LAUNCH TIME: I have been working on this ABC series over summer with Ashwin Segkar where we ask a comedian to share an issue they struggle with, and I offer ideas to them and the rest of us about coping with similar situations. Laughter and storytelling plus psych tips! In Episode 1, our guest was comedian Stav Davidson from B105 radio, where he discusses his chaotic childhood. Not quite “Comedians Get Therapy”, but almost! Click to listen to our first episode. More to come. Rachel

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Surviving Christmas

Although Christmas is meant to be a happy and joyful time, this isn’t how everyone feels at this time of the year. Christmas can be a stressful and depressing time for many people. Today, Dr Rachel was on ABC Radio Brisbane discussing tips for surviving Christmas. Click to listen.

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The “L” Word: Nearly 30% of Aussies Lonely

by Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Lonely is a taboo word. To admit you feel lonely risks attracting pity or being perceived as a social failure. Yet loneliness is so common it is tipped to be a new public health epidemic. The UK Government has appointed a Minister for Loneliness in recognition of this […]

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Embrace Your Inner Alpaca: A Symbol of Commitment

by Robin Fraser (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Australia’s best-selling book of 2017 was “The Barefoot Investor”. In this book, author Scott Pape discusses a tragic situation where his family farm was burned to the ground in a runaway fire. As he walks around the charred remains of what used to be his home, he recalls seeing in […]

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Is it Shyness or Social Anxiety?

by Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) “Shyness is nice, and Shyness can stop you From doing all the things in life You’d like to”  — Ask by The Smiths Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is not shyness. Psychologists distinguish between shyness – a personality disposition or trait (like having brown eyes) – and social anxiety, […]

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Am I Introverted or Extroverted?

By Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) “I always thought I was weird. Now I realise I’m just an introvert!” – Book Reviewer (goodreads.com)   Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m an extrovert – I like to be out all weekend” or “She’s such an introvert. I can’t get her to leave the house!”?  Introverts and […]

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The Superpower of Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is a superpower. Whilst I was growing up, and even now as an adult, I found the X-Men Marvel characters really appealing. I mean what teenager doesn’t know the feeling of being weird, judged or like an outsider? How awesome it was to escape into a world where I could imagine having superpowers! Now I see…

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How to Give Empathy

I want to be a more empathic person. But when I try to give empathy, I don’t really know how. I end up giving sympathy. Or I ask questions and give suggestions, leading to conflict. How do I give empathy to my partner or my children without ending up in an argument or feeling rather disconnected and helpless? I need some tips….

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How Do I Forgive Him?

“People talk about forgiveness, but I am too full of hurt and resentment. Since doing couples counselling, we are better at communicating. I want to work it out, but I haven’t forgiven him yet. How do I let go of the past and forgive?” So, start by asking yourself what happens when you don’t forgive. If it’s only good things, then don’t forgive! But, more likely, you are asking this because you want out of the mental suffering that non-forgiveness creates…

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