facebook

Aspley and Stafford Heights

book an appointment

Overcoming Childhood Suffering: A Three Stage Process

Dark moments from our childhood – divorce, emotional neglect, a parent’s mental illness, witnessing violence or addiction, being abused – can stay with us as adults, even though we ‘feel fine’ most of the time. Research shows that adverse childhood experiences produce toxic levels of stress hormones that can affect the development of the neural networks in a child’s brain. In the past 20 years, researchers have shown that high scores on the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) survey are highly predictive of adult mental, social and physical health problems later in life. The effects of these ACEs may be invisible, but they can weigh upon us decades later.

Read more...

The “L” Word: Nearly 30% of Aussies Lonely

by Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Lonely is a taboo word. To admit you feel lonely risks attracting pity or being perceived as a social failure. Yet loneliness is so common it is tipped to be a new public health epidemic. The UK Government has appointed a Minister for Loneliness in recognition of this […]

Read more...

Embrace Your Inner Alpaca: A Symbol of Commitment

by Robin Fraser (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Australia’s best-selling book of 2017 was “The Barefoot Investor”. In this book, author Scott Pape discusses a tragic situation where his family farm was burned to the ground in a runaway fire. As he walks around the charred remains of what used to be his home, he recalls seeing in […]

Read more...

Am I Introverted or Extroverted?

By Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) “I always thought I was weird. Now I realise I’m just an introvert!” – Book Reviewer (goodreads.com) Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m an extrovert – I like to be out all weekend” or “She’s such an introvert. I can’t get her to leave the house!”?  Introverts and extroverts […]

Read more...

The Superpower of Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is a superpower. Whilst I was growing up, and even now as an adult, I found the X-Men Marvel characters really appealing. I mean what teenager doesn’t know the feeling of being weird, judged or like an outsider? How awesome it was to escape into a world where I could imagine having superpowers! Now I see…

Read more...

How to Give Empathy

I want to be a more empathic person. But when I try to give empathy, I don’t really know how. I end up giving sympathy. Or I ask questions and give suggestions, leading to conflict. How do I give empathy to my partner or my children without ending up in an argument or feeling rather disconnected and helpless? I need some tips….

Read more...

How Do I Forgive Him?

“People talk about forgiveness, but I am too full of hurt and resentment. Since doing couples counselling, we are better at communicating. I want to work it out, but I haven’t forgiven him yet. How do I let go of the past and forgive?” So, start by asking yourself what happens when you don’t forgive. If it’s only good things, then don’t forgive! But, more likely, you are asking this because you want out of the mental suffering that non-forgiveness creates…

Read more...

The Stress Myth and How Lobsters Grow

The myth that stress is bad for us still abounds. I personally think toxic shame is much worse. But stress in all forms, such as fear, worry, discomfort and anxiety, is part of life. So long as we are not ignoring high levels of chronic stress, stress is important and helpful. At any rate, stress is inevitable. So, we need to adopt a friendly attitude towards stress and to build our capacity to handle it. So how do we do that?

Read more...

Workshop with Rachel on Nonviolent Communication June 23, 2018

If you have no plans this Saturday June 23, come down to Northey Street City Farm in Windsor to the Winter Solstice Festival and join this free workshop with Dr Rachel Hannam from 2pm-3pm at the FairShare Tent to learn about nonviolent communication or NVC.

NVC helps us to bypass blame and judgement, and connect with feelings and needs. Here is a link to the…

Read more...

Three Tips to Stop Procrastinating

Many of us are guilty of procrastination. Have you ever sat down to a complex, time-consuming task and ended up surfing Facebook or playing solitaire? Clients often mention that they struggle with procrastination and want to know why and what they can do. While there are many theories about why we procrastinate, there may be a range of reasons we procrastinate. The more important question is: What can we do? Here are a few ideas to keep in mind.

Read more...

How to Stop Struggling With Yourself: Develop the Observing Self

The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living – Socrates We humans have a unique ability that rarely gets talked about in this culture. It’s the ability to observe our own inner experiences as if an internal witness was privy to them. In other words, to engage the ‘observing self’. Most children and young people are not […]

Read more...

We are all control freaks! Cognitive skills for finding balance

Set yourself free by recognising this one tendency we all share and how it can go awry. Life is to be lived, not controlled. Like a surfer in the waves, we need to respond to life, not stress ourselves managing and controlling it all.

Read more...

4 Steps to Self-Empathy: Get Calm and Clear

Often I use this process with clients who are stuck to a sticky thought and want to get unstuck! We all have sticky thoughts; intrusive or compulsive mental stories we automatically tell ourselves when stressed that can loop endlessly in our heads. The sticky thought is almost always a judgement, either of the self or […]

Read more...

How do I stop the abuse from my partner?

I love my boyfriend of three years very much and we have recently moved in together. Things are mostly OK between us but every now and then he gets upset over a trivial matter and yells at me often using abusive language. Once he even slapped me. How do I stop this before the abuse […]

Read more...

How not to “vomit” your emotions all over others

Without emotions, life would be dull and TV would be unwatchable. Sit in front of any television drama and you will find people emoting all over the place. Ally McBeal, in the TV show, reacts emotionally to whatever life throws at her, often with scant regard for the recipients of her outbursts. So do many […]

Read more...
Menu