Defensiveness is natural but being non-defensive is wise

Many people get defensive OFTEN. Righteous indignation, playing the victim, and whining can be heaps of fun; the problem is they don’t work! No one likes feeling under attack from judgement, criticism or blame. Yet, defensiveness gives rise to more defensiveness. We need to find a way out. The key lies in our response-ability. Watch this short video to find out more.

Read more...

Can’t escape the narcissist in your life? Use the Grey Rock Method

Dealing with narcissistic people (self-serving people who lack empathy and have an inflated sense of their own importance) can be maddening. It can be tempting to argue with them and scream, “What’s wrong with you?” Don’t do this. There is a much more effective way to deal with them; something known as the Grey Rock method.

Read more...

How to stop being a people-pleaser (but stay loving)

Are you a people-pleaser? What is the difference between caring about others and having empathy, and being a people-pleaser? How do you tell the difference? In this short video, Dr Rachel explains the distinction.

Read more...

Grief is the Price We Pay for Love

This blog post has been inspired by the lovely comedienne, Jordan Kadell. Six years ago, Jordan’s family suffered a devastating loss when her brother died in a terrible accident while overseas celebrating finishing high-school.

Read more...

Surviving Christmas

Although Christmas is meant to be a happy and joyful time, this isn’t how everyone feels at this time of the year. Christmas can be a stressful and depressing time for many people. Today, Dr Rachel was on ABC Radio Brisbane discussing tips for surviving Christmas. Click to listen.

Read more...

The “L” Word: Nearly 30% of Aussies Lonely

by Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Lonely is a taboo word. To admit you feel lonely risks attracting pity or being perceived as a social failure. Yet loneliness is so common it is tipped to be a new public health epidemic. The UK Government has appointed a Minister for Loneliness in recognition of this […]

Read more...

‘Failure to Launch’: Adult Children at Home

All parents want to see their offspring healthy, socially connected, and either working or getting an education. However, some adult children living at home are unemployed (or under-employed), depressed, drinking or taking drugs, and lonely. Their parents, often in their 50s, still working, and planning retirement, worry that this situation will go on forever. In this video, I share some ideas on how to handle this situation….

Read more...

Lots of Nonviolent Communication Resources

Last Saturday I ran a short but successful workshop at the Solstice Festival at Northey Street City Farm on Nonviolent Communication or NVC. I got lots of messages afterwards and I was reminded that lots of people have lots of interest in this topic. So, I thought I would compile a bunch of links for you for future reference to NVC courses and resources (online + face-to-face).

Read more...

Workshop with Rachel on Nonviolent Communication June 23, 2018

If you have no plans this Saturday June 23, come down to Northey Street City Farm in Windsor to the Winter Solstice Festival and join this free workshop with Dr Rachel Hannam from 2pm-3pm at the FairShare Tent to learn about nonviolent communication or NVC.

NVC helps us to bypass blame and judgement, and connect with feelings and needs. Here is a link to the…

Read more...

It Is Not The Critic Who Counts

For many people, lack of self-confidence comes form having a harsh inner critic. How do you manage a harsh inner critic? Or harsh critics around you? Working on your own life and mind is the key to accepting yourself as you are and letting go of those criticisms.

Read more...

Toxic Friendship: How Do I Deal With Her Negativity?

What do you do about negative friends? First ask, “Does this relationship support your life or enrich it somehow, or does it detract from your life?” In other words, does the person drag you up or down? Getting clear on your answer can help. Also, you may need to be honest and tell your friend about the impact her self-focused, negative communication has on you. It might seem astounding, but it could be that she does not even realise how you are affected.

Read more...

Christmas without mum

Recently my mother died unexpectedly. I can’t stand the thought of Christmas here without her so I was going to go overseas. Is this a good idea? You are hesitant and unsure. After a sudden loss such as this, it is natural to be undecided. Losing someone unexpectedly is a shock. Your trust in the certainty […]

Read more...

A 5-step Process for Understanding and Bypassing Anger

Sometimes anger comes from believing (consciously or unconsciously) that situations or people should be other than they are. It is normal for us to do this, but not very helpful. Things are as they are in each moment. Blame, anger and judgement rarely change life for the better. However, understanding the underlying feelings and needs […]

Read more...
Menu