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We are all control freaks! Cognitive skills for finding balance

Set yourself free by recognising this one tendency we all share and how it can go awry. Life is to be lived, not controlled. Like a surfer in the waves, we need to respond to life, not stress ourselves managing and controlling it all.

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A 5-step Process for Understanding and Bypassing Anger

Sometimes anger comes from believing (consciously or unconsciously) that situations or people should be other than they are. It is normal for us to do this, but not very helpful. Things are as they are in each moment. Blame, anger and judgement rarely change life for the better. However, understanding the underlying feelings and needs […]

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Losing a child

Losing a child is like the emotional equivalent of scaling Mount Everest with no preparation. Some get over this massive loss but are damaged and never the same. However it is possible to get over the loss of a child and it is important, for every parent’s peace of mind, to know that.

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What do I do when my ex won’t let me see the kids?

Shared parenting is the starting point for separated partners but an angry parent will often try to sabotage this. The journey can be tough and expensive, but doing the right thing by your kids is important. If you are the parent missing out, your first step is…

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How do I manage an angry girlfriend?

My girlfriend spends a lot of her time getting angry at her ex. I sympathised at first but after four months, it’s just as intense. She fumes whenever anything reminds her of him. How do I help her let go? One thing is for sure: you’re not helping her by being sympathetic. Right now, your girlfriend is stuck. […]

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Do I need psychological help?

I am a self-funded retiree. My family tells me I am peculiar and would benefit from consulting a psychologist. I am extremely penny-pinching when it comes to my own temporary comfort, prefer living alone and, if angered, I have a sharp and vicious tongue. Can you suggest a direction? Are you unhappy? Your family might […]

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How do I manage my argumentative adult sons?

I have two adult sons who are very different. They have fallen out and refuse to talk even calling to make sure the other has left before visiting. Each complains about the other and wants me to take sides. I
love them both so how do I handle this? We all want the people we love to get along […]

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How to manage anger

I have read that people should express angry feelings in their imagination. Is it true? I think that if a person has an issue with someone, it is better to resolve it by getting it out in the open. Resolving problems with others is always worthwhile. However, getting it out in the open by letting loose with your angry […]

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Are you creating the reality you don’t want?

Bella wanted her partner to propose. They had been together for nearly a decade and he always managed to find an excuse. She was deeply disappointed. Her disappointment took the form of angry outbursts. She would try to be patient and make an effort to be kind and loving but when the hoped for proposal […]

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