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Are You Stuck in a Drama Triangle?

Think about the last time you dealt with interpersonal conflict? How did you react? How did you feel? What role did you play in the conflict? The “Drama Triangle” is a concept from Dr Stephen Karpman. It outlines three unhealthy roles people either unconsciously play out or perhaps consciously use to manipulate others when in conflict. […]

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Is It Love or Is It Lust?

When we pore over the stand of cards before Valentine’s Day, looking for the one card which best reflects our feelings, we might wonder what is the basis of our relationship. Is it true, everlasting love? Or is it simply lust? Sometimes, our feelings are so strong that we are convinced that we have met […]

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Dating Advice: How To Deal With Mixed Signals

“I met someone recently and we really clicked. It was all very intense. He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship but all the signals he gave out were positive. Now we have drifted apart but he messages me and gives me mixed signals. We’ve both been hurt in the past and I think […]

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Attachment Theory: Beyond The Memes

If you’re in any of the same online bubbles as me, you’ve probably seen a resurgence of people talking about “attachment” and “attachment styles”. These articles often mention the four main attachment styles of adult relationships – secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant attachment – which are certainly worth investigating. Though I love seeing attachment theory […]

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Defensiveness is natural but being non-defensive is wise

Many people get defensive OFTEN. Righteous indignation, playing the victim, and whining can be heaps of fun; the problem is they don’t work! No one likes feeling under attack from judgement, criticism or blame. Yet, defensiveness gives rise to more defensiveness. We need to find a way out. The key lies in our response-ability. Watch this short video to find out more.

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Can’t escape the narcissist in your life? Use the Grey Rock Method

Dealing with narcissistic people (self-serving people who lack empathy and have an inflated sense of their own importance) can be maddening. It can be tempting to argue with them and scream, “What’s wrong with you?” Don’t do this. There is a much more effective way to deal with them; something known as the Grey Rock method.

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How to stop being a people-pleaser (but stay loving)

Are you a people-pleaser? What is the difference between caring about others and having empathy, and being a people-pleaser? How do you tell the difference? In this short video, Dr Rachel explains the distinction.

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Having Faith as a Psychologist: An interview with Nahum Kozak (NBP)

In this delightful ABC interview with Katherine (Kat) Feeney, NBP psychologist Nahum Kozak discusses how an incident over 20 years ago when he was only 19 on a church camp made him reassess his faith, and find hope for his future and personal healing through compassionate friendship.

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Grief is the Price We Pay for Love

This blog post has been inspired by the lovely comedienne, Jordan Kadell. Six years ago, Jordan’s family suffered a devastating loss when her brother died in a terrible accident while overseas celebrating finishing high-school.

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Help Me! I’m a Comedian: New show with Rachel on ABC

LAUNCH TIME: I have been working on this ABC series over summer with Ashwin Segkar where we ask a comedian to share an issue they struggle with, and I offer ideas to them and the rest of us about coping with similar situations. Laughter and storytelling plus psych tips! In Episode 1, our guest was comedian Stav Davidson from B105 radio, where he discusses his chaotic childhood. Not quite “Comedians Get Therapy”, but almost! Click to listen to our first episode. More to come. Rachel

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What Makes Us Loyal? Dr Rachel on Loyalty for ABC Radio

Trust and loyalty have at least one thing in common: I am making something I value vulnerable to another person’s actions. Whatever I choose to make vulnerable to another’s actions, I do so because I believe their actions will support it or, at least, will not harm it. In the beginning however, loyalty to a person, place or brand always begins with how that person or place makes me feel. Which is where I begin this interview I did yesterday on ABC Radio in Brisbane. Click to listen.

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Surviving Christmas

Although Christmas is meant to be a happy and joyful time, this isn’t how everyone feels at this time of the year. Christmas can be a stressful and depressing time for many people. Today, Dr Rachel was on ABC Radio Brisbane discussing tips for surviving Christmas. Click to listen.

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The “L” Word: Nearly 30% of Aussies Lonely

by Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Lonely is a taboo word. To admit you feel lonely risks attracting pity or being perceived as a social failure. Yet loneliness is so common it is tipped to be a new public health epidemic. The UK Government has appointed a Minister for Loneliness in recognition of this […]

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Embrace Your Inner Alpaca: A Symbol of Commitment

by Robin Fraser (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Australia’s best-selling book of 2017 was “The Barefoot Investor”. In this book, author Scott Pape discusses a tragic situation where his family farm was burned to the ground in a runaway fire. As he walks around the charred remains of what used to be his home, he recalls seeing in […]

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Is it Shyness or Social Anxiety?

by Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) “Shyness is nice, and Shyness can stop you From doing all the things in life You’d like to”  — Ask by The Smiths Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is not shyness. Psychologists distinguish between shyness – a personality disposition or trait (like having brown eyes) – and social anxiety, which […]

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