A good friend with a poor track history in relationships has just taken up with a new partner and everyone who knows her considers this to be a disaster in the making. It’s common wisdom that one should never interfere in such matters, but surely an intervention now would save her months of emotional torture […]
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Let’s talk about how beliefs affect our coping strategies in life and, in turn, accidentally keep us stuck. Take John for example. John is 45 years old. Growing up, he developed the idea (called a negative core belief or a schema) that he is “unlikeable”. Here are 3 coping strategies John might use for coping […]
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I have an adult son who lives away from home. I am fearful of some of the choices he makes in his life (nothing serious). In discussing it with him, he says that if I am a worried mother now, I’ll still be worried when he’s 50. This is probably true! How can I overcome […]
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My father is ill with a terminal disease. We’e never been close but now he seems to want to open up. I’d like to respond and build a closer relationship during this time. The problem is my emotionally fragile mother insists he not be told that he is dying. What do I do if he […]
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So you don’t like your friend’s partner. You think she is making a terrible mistake. This is a tricky situation and needs to be handled well. Here is some advice that might help.
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Discipling children is challenging and it is difficult to get the balance right. But it is possible if both parents look at their own childhood and how they were disciplined and get in touch with their childhood feelings. Mining your childhood in this way will uncover buried treasure and help you be a better parent.
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Having an unsatisfactory relationship with your mother is deeply disappointing. You cannot change her, but you can change how you react to her. It takes some work but it is worthwhile. You can have a peaceful relationship with your mother.
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How realistic is family togetherness at Christmas? How many of us realise the dream and have loving, positive interactions with our relatives without any tension or discord? And how many of us have all the important members of our family present? Christmas can bring grief, sadness, estrangement and conflicts.
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Having a critical mother-in-law visit can be painful if you have any doubts about yourself and take her criticisms seriously. Once you feel comfortable in yourself, she cannot sting you. You understand her need to criticise and can easily deflect her negativity.
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How we receive gifts can reveal some of our innermost feelings about our self worth. Some people have to reciprocate. Some do not. Some accept graciously and some are critical of the gift. How do people with high self worth respond?
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We think we influence our children by what we tell them. Of course, this is important. But we influence our children much more by how we say what we say, by what we don’t say, and, most importantly, by what we actually do. In effect, we are communicating to our children every moment of the day, not just when we sit down with them to have a deep and meaningful.
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Losing a child is like the emotional equivalent of scaling Mount Everest with no preparation. Some get over this massive loss but are damaged and never the same. However it is possible to get over the loss of a child and it is important, for every parent’s peace of mind, to know that.
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Being criticised by your parents-in-law can be particularly disheartening. Young marrieds too often look up to their older relatives. You need to see the truth of such people to be able to get on with your life happily.
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Watching a friend make the same mistake over and over is painful. You want to save her, stop her from the disaster, and save your mobile phone bill from exploding when the disaster happens. But interfering has its risks.
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One of the hardest challenges when you are considering separation and divorce is the effect of it on the children. Some kids take it very hard, and some can become very angry. There is an approach, however, that will work.
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