If you’re in any of the same online bubbles as me, you’ve probably seen a resurgence of people talking about “attachment” and “attachment styles”. These articles often mention the four main attachment styles of adult relationships – secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant attachment – which are certainly worth investigating. Though I love seeing attachment theory […]
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Cold-water treatment may be more beneficial than anti-depressants. Cold showers take advantage of our body’s tendency and ability to adapt to harsh conditions. As a result, our bodies become more resilient. Sometimes we feel fragile, but we are not. Many systems in our bodies are actual antifragile, meaning we can increase their capability to thrive as a result of stressors or shocks. Cold water does just this.
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Dealing with narcissistic people (self-serving people who lack empathy and have an inflated sense of their own importance) can be maddening. It can be tempting to argue with them and scream, “What’s wrong with you?” Don’t do this. There is a much more effective way to deal with them; something known as the Grey Rock method.
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Rachel: As a comedian, why are you interested in humour and mental health?
Fiona: I got sick in 2014. I was in bed for 4 months, my business was failing, my relationship was failing, life was bad. I had depression. I was crying in the middle of the night and stuck in bed. I’d had depression years earlier when I remembered my sexual abuse. At that time, I drank and smoked too much to cope. When I had depression in 2014, I never went back to that terrible depression like before, because I sought help. That’s when I started to use humour properly.
Dark moments from our childhood – divorce, emotional neglect, a parent’s mental illness, witnessing violence or addiction, being abused – can stay with us as adults, even though we ‘feel fine’ most of the time. Research shows that adverse childhood experiences produce toxic levels of stress hormones that can affect the development of the neural networks in a child’s brain. In the past 20 years, researchers have shown that high scores on the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) survey are highly predictive of adult mental, social and physical health problems later in life. The effects of these ACEs may be invisible, but they can weigh upon us decades later.
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by Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Lonely is a taboo word. To admit you feel lonely risks attracting pity or being perceived as a social failure. Yet loneliness is so common it is tipped to be a new public health epidemic. The UK Government has appointed a Minister for Loneliness in recognition of this […]
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by Robin Fraser (of North Brisbane Psychologists) Australia’s best-selling book of 2017 was “The Barefoot Investor”. In this book, author Scott Pape discusses a tragic situation where his family farm was burned to the ground in a runaway fire. As he walks around the charred remains of what used to be his home, he recalls seeing in […]
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By Lynne Rodgers (of North Brisbane Psychologists) “I always thought I was weird. Now I realise I’m just an introvert!” – Book Reviewer (goodreads.com) Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m an extrovert – I like to be out all weekend” or “She’s such an introvert. I can’t get her to leave the house!”? Introverts and […]
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Emotional regulation is a superpower. Whilst I was growing up, and even now as an adult, I found the X-Men Marvel characters really appealing. I mean what teenager doesn’t know the feeling of being weird, judged or like an outsider? How awesome it was to escape into a world where I could imagine having superpowers! Now I see…
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I want to be a more empathic person. But when I try to give empathy, I don’t really know how. I end up giving sympathy. Or I ask questions and give suggestions, leading to conflict. How do I give empathy to my partner or my children without ending up in an argument or feeling rather disconnected and helpless? I need some tips….
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“People talk about forgiveness, but I am too full of hurt and resentment. Since doing couples counselling, we are better at communicating. I want to work it out, but I haven’t forgiven him yet. How do I let go of the past and forgive?” So, start by asking yourself what happens when you don’t forgive. If it’s only good things, then don’t forgive! But, more likely, you are asking this because you want out of the mental suffering that non-forgiveness creates…
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The myth that stress is bad for us still abounds. I personally think toxic shame is much worse. But stress in all forms, such as fear, worry, discomfort and anxiety, is part of life. So long as we are not ignoring high levels of chronic stress, stress is important and helpful. At any rate, stress is inevitable. So, we need to adopt a friendly attitude towards stress and to build our capacity to handle it. So how do we do that?
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If you have no plans this Saturday June 23, come down to Northey Street City Farm in Windsor to the Winter Solstice Festival and join this free workshop with Dr Rachel Hannam from 2pm-3pm at the FairShare Tent to learn about nonviolent communication or NVC.
NVC helps us to bypass blame and judgement, and connect with feelings and needs. Here is a link to the…
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Many of us are guilty of procrastination. Have you ever sat down to a complex, time-consuming task and ended up surfing Facebook or playing solitaire? Clients often mention that they struggle with procrastination and want to know why and what they can do. While there are many theories about why we procrastinate, there may be a range of reasons we procrastinate. The more important question is: What can we do? Here are a few ideas to keep in mind.
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The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living – Socrates We humans have a unique ability that rarely gets talked about in this culture. It’s the ability to observe our own inner experiences as if an internal witness was privy to them. In other words, to engage the ‘observing self’. Most children and young people are not […]
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