Many people get defensive OFTEN. Righteous indignation, playing the victim, and whining can be heaps of fun; the problem is they don’t work! No one likes feeling under attack from judgement, criticism or blame. Yet, defensiveness gives rise to more defensiveness. We need to find a way out. The key lies in our response-ability. Watch this short video to find out more.
Read more...
Are you a people-pleaser? What is the difference between caring about others and having empathy, and being a people-pleaser? How do you tell the difference? In this short video, Dr Rachel explains the distinction.
Read more...
I want to be a more empathic person. But when I try to give empathy, I don’t really know how. I end up giving sympathy. Or I ask questions and give suggestions, leading to conflict. How do I give empathy to my partner or my children without ending up in an argument or feeling rather disconnected and helpless? I need some tips….
Read more...
Last Saturday I ran a short but successful workshop at the Solstice Festival at Northey Street City Farm on Nonviolent Communication or NVC. I got lots of messages afterwards and I was reminded that lots of people have lots of interest in this topic. So, I thought I would compile a bunch of links for you for future reference to NVC courses and resources (online + face-to-face).
Read more...
If you have no plans this Saturday June 23, come down to Northey Street City Farm in Windsor to the Winter Solstice Festival and join this free workshop with Dr Rachel Hannam from 2pm-3pm at the FairShare Tent to learn about nonviolent communication or NVC.
NVC helps us to bypass blame and judgement, and connect with feelings and needs. Here is a link to the…
Read more...
What do you do about negative friends? First ask, “Does this relationship support your life or enrich it somehow, or does it detract from your life?” In other words, does the person drag you up or down? Getting clear on your answer can help. Also, you may need to be honest and tell your friend about the impact her self-focused, negative communication has on you. It might seem astounding, but it could be that she does not even realise how you are affected.
Read more...Sometimes I use this process with clients who are stuck to a sticky thought and want to get unstuck! We all have sticky thoughts. These are the intrusive or compulsive beliefs or mental stories we automatically tell ourselves when stressed. These thoughts can loop endlessly in our heads. The sticky thought is almost always a […]
Read more...
Sometimes anger comes from believing (consciously or unconsciously) that situations or people should be other than they are. It is normal for us to do this, but not very helpful. Things are as they are in each moment. Blame, anger and judgement rarely change life for the better. However, understanding the underlying feelings and needs […]
Read more...
