Everyone lives with fear. Your fears can prevent you achieving what you want in life. Some people think fear is a necessary evil. I do not agree and I explain why in my article “How to develop emotional freedom”.
Fears affect you more powerfully when they are ignored or pushed away. Once you confront your fears, you are back in control. The power of the fear to disturb you is gone.
If you want emotional freedom, you need to release your fears, every fear that you are aware of. You release them one at a time.
To release your fears, make up your mind to do the following:
- Choose a specific fear to address.
- When this fear arises, make a mental note of what triggered the fear.
- While you are in the midst of experiencing that fear, make a mental note of your physical feelings. What does the fear feel like in your body?
If possible take the following steps when the fear arises. If not, at a later time, settle into a safe place (e.g. a private room at home) and remember the trigger and the feelings of the fear. Then do the following:
- Feel the fear.
- Take slow, deep breathes. Keep breathing slowly and deeply all the way through until the fear releases itself.
- Notice the sensation of the fear while staying calm. It might feel uncomfortable but it will not damage you. It is only emotional energy passing through.
- Focus on the nature of the physical feeling of the fear. Is there vibration? Is your heart pounding? Is there movement? Do you feel pressure? Is it tight? Is it heavy or light? Is it expanding or shrinking?
- Just accept these feelings and keep breathing slowly and deeply.
- You might imagine the sensation as a shape and colour. Then just keep breathing as it gradually dissipates.
Occasionally, some people find disturbing thoughts arise while feeling the fear. They might imagine someone is hurting them in some way (e.g. choking them to death). The secret here is surrender. If this happens to you, just give in and let go. “So they choke me to death. So what? I am just surrendering and letting go.”
This might sound disturbing but it is only as disturbing as you let it be. Learning how to surrender and let go is one of the most important lessons we can learn in life. Fighting a thought, like the thought of being choked, is not going to help. You have the thought for some unknown reason. Fighting it just gives it more power. Giving in shows you it has no power. The fear releases.
To develop emotional freedom, you go through this process with every fear of which you are aware. As you continue, you will find your deeper, unconscious fears start to surface. You keep confronting your fears and releasing them.
In the beginning, you might need help from a skilled therapist to help you release your fears. But after doing this for a while, it gets easier. You experience the benefits of being without specific fears. You notice how you respond more appropriately to others and how much more confidence you have.
When you look forward to confronting your next fear, you know you are on your way to developing emotional freedom.
Do you need help developing your emotional freedom? The team at North Brisbane Psychologists can help. Book an appointment today.