Are you emotionally reactive? Do you sometimes feel emotionally out of control?
If so, you lack what I call “emotional freedom.” Others might call this emotional intelligence.
You have emotional freedom when:
- You are fully aware of your emotions.
- You accept the emotions that arise within you.
- You value your emotions.
- You trust your emotions.
- You feel your emotions but do not have to react.
- You are emotionally honest, meaning your emotions and expressions are congruent (e.g. you don’t smile when you are feeling uncomfortable).
People with emotional freedom make better decisions. Their emotions give them useful feedback. They can take this feedback into account when deciding what to do.
People with emotional freedom interact well with other people. They are tolerant. They don’t take criticism personally and yet they are firm if confronted with unacceptable behaviour.
How do you develop emotional freedom?
You release all fear. When you are free of fear, you are emotionally free.
Of course, no one can be totally free of fear. However you can get pretty close to being fearless.
You might wonder, “But if I had no fear. I might speed. I might drink too much. I might cheat on my taxes.”
Emotionally free people do not do engage in any of those risky behaviours, not because they are afraid, but because such behaviour holds no attraction for them.
Why would you need to speed if you have no fear? You know you will get there on time and, if you don’t, all will be well.
Why would you drink too much? You don’t have any emotional holes to fill. You have nothing to escape from. You don’t need alcohol or any drug to make you feel good.
Why would you need to cheat on your taxes? You know there will be enough money for your purposes.
Fearless people do not engage in risky behaviour because they don’t need to. They feel safe and in control of their lives.
How do you release fear?
You are likely to have many fears. Some you are aware of and some you are not. You cannot release fears you are not aware of, but this doesn’t matter. You start with the fears you know about.
Your emotions and your actions alert you to your fears. You over-react. You feel anxious. You engage in risky behaviour.
Make a list of fears by jotting down each fear as you notice it.
Once you have your list of fears, you tackle each of these fears one by one. There is a successful process for doing this. This process is on this website.
Emotional freedom comes when you are free of fear. I show you how to free yourself from fear in my article called “How to release fear”.
Need help dealing with your emotions? Our team at North Brisbane Psychologists can help. Book an appointment today.