There is a close relationship between low self-confidence and lack of discipline. In a previous post Self-Confidence I explained the importance of following through on your commitments. Whenever you don’t, your self-confidence suffers.
There are reasons people don’t follow through on their commitments but most people avoid even thinking about these reasons. They know they did the wrong thing and just want to forget about it as quickly as possible. But that means nothing changes. The same pattern of behavior continues and the self-confidence continues to go down.
If we really want to know why we fail to keep commitments, we need to look closely at our behavior.
When we fail to keep our promises, we find reasons to justify our slack behavior. We believe these excuses. Superficially, we feel better about ourselves. But these are not the real reasons we fail to deliver.
The truth is we could keep nearly all of our commitments if we were willing. But we just do not want to pay the price required to fulfill our promises.
Most likely the price involves significant self-discipline. Most people want self-confidence without the discipline. They have been seduced by the easy path to self-confidence promoted by motivational speakers.
Most motivational speakers tell us that self-confidence is all about self-belief. They are right. Overcoming low self-confidence is about positive self-belief.
However these speakers don’t tell us the whole truth.
Where does self-belief come from? They would have us believe that all it takes is positive thinking and making daily positive affirmations.
They imply that our behavior doesn’t matter. Say and think positively, they suggest, and we will painlessly go from low self-confidence to being self-confident.
Do we really think that we can so easily fool ourselves? That we can make empty promises but as long as we keep saying we are great, we will feel self-confident?
We cannot lie ourselves into genuine self-confidence. The easy path the motivational speakers promote is a dead end. If we want genuine self-confidence, we need to be honest.
Affirmations are fine but for them to work, we need to follow up the affirmations with action that completely reflects those affirmations. That takes self-discipline.
Looking for help with your self-confidence and self-discipline? Our team at North Brisbane Psychologists can help. Book an appointment here.