I still haven’t found the woman of my dreams. Should I give in and join and online introduction agency?
You are looking in the wrong place. There is only one place you will find the woman of your dreams and that is in your dreams.
You think e are joking. But the truth is no woman can match what you have created in your imagination. That is why your search has been fruitless. The woman of your dreams doesn’t exist on this planet.
Your dream partner is a creation of your imagination. You can make her do and be whatever you want. Real women aren’t like that. They have minds of their own.
Right at the beginning of the relationship, people often think they have met the partner of their dreams. It doesn’t usually take too long for the gloss to wear off and they begin noticing the inevitable flaws.
If they manage to keep the dream alive long enough to settle down together, the practical problems of modern life can overwhelm them further down the track. Mortgages, in-laws, the unavoidable disagreements, long working hours, children-disturbed sleep and all the other stresses take their toll on their fantasy of everlasting love.
One day they wake up beside someone with bags under her eyes, wrinkles on her neck and who is either too skinny or too fat.
There are only two ways to avoid this disillusionment. One is to keep dreaming, all alone, and the other is to become realistic.
If you decide to be realistic, an introduction agency could be very helpful.
Some people who use agencies are just like you. They are too idealistic. They expect the agency to magically produce the perfect partner. You think using an introduction agency is giving in because you are a perfectionist. You thought you should be able to find this dream woman yourself. The problem isn’t using the agency, the problem is your expectations of yourself and others.
There is nothing wrong with using as many avenues as possible to meet potential partners – as long as you are realistic. Many couples meet through online services these days. There is little or no stigma attached.
Being realistic means not being picky about things that are not going to matter in the long term. How she dresses, how she wears her hair, what she drives, where she works and even how she looks is superficial. All of these change over time anyway.
When you wake up beside her years on, when she getting older and out of shape, you want to make sure there was more than the superficial that attracted you.
You need to look for someone who incites in you a surge of energy. When you are with a woman, forget about critically checking her out. Instead, notice how you feel. Feeling energetic, stimulated and comfortable in a woman’s presence is what really counts. Once you find this, work hard on ignoring all the surface trivialities and focus on her inner qualities and how you feel about yourself when you are with her.