Funny Questions People Ask Psychologists

“What are some funny questions you have been asked in therapy or at social events?”

In a closed Facebook group for Psychologists recently, a colleague of mine asked members to share funny or unusual questions they have been asked.

Doing therapy can be very challenging, but it can be funny too! Below are real questions people have asked Psychologists. Some are cute, some are surprising, and some are downright annoying.

Funny therapy room questions

Teenage client: “It’s not really in your best interest to fix me; if I get better, I stop coming and you make less money. That wouldn’t be very smart, would it?”

“What was wrong with the person who came in before me?” (Really?)

“Would you like to come over for a family dinner? Then you could observe us all and see what I mean. (Interesting idea. No. It’s called boundaries)

From a child client: “Do you live here?” (in a serviced office)

From an adult client with autism: “Can you please let me know ahead of time if you’re going to get a haircut or dye your hair? I don’t like change.”

From a child client with autism: “Can you always wear green when I come, please?”

“I’m ok to do counselling, but can we not talk about feelings? (Um………)

“Does your husband think we might be having an affair?” (No words!)

“Do I have to lay on your couch?” (No, we normally don’t have a couch)

“Can I steal your therapy cat?” (Think of the children!)

Annoying social questions (please don’t)

“Are you analysing me right now?”

“Are you working out what’s wrong with me?” (No, I only do that when I get paid!)

“Oh, you’re a Psychologist? What am I thinking right now?” (Psychologist, not Psychic)

“I have a friend who is struggling. Could you just give them a call?” (No, but feel free to suggest they contact me).

“Can you help me get on the disability pension? I need a report and I have no money” (It doesn’t work that way).

After a deep-and-meaningful with a friend: “So, how much do I owe you” (Just…no)

More common questions

“How on earth do you do your job?” (It can be draining, but it’s great)

“What if this stuff gets to you? Do you talk to a psychologist too?” (Yes, it’s called peer supervision and we have a certain number of hours each year)

“How do you not think about your clients when you go home?” (Sometimes I do).

“Why do you have to take notes while I talk?” (So I can remember our session, and in the rare case that I am audited, subpoenaed, or need to send my files to another professional one day)

“Does it look like I’ve been crying? Is my mascara smudged?” (Yes, but I have a mirror, water, tissues and bathroom).

“If I tell you I broke the law, will you tell the cops?” (Not for something like drug use or theft. But if I think somebody is at risk of physical harm, then yes).

“Only crazy people see shrinks. Do you think I’m crazy?” (Sane people seek help. You’re not crazy – you’re suffering).

We also have an FAQs page on our website, which answers common questions in more depth. Or come and see us in person.